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Thursday, August 07, 2003

MARRIAGE WITHOUT WOMEN: Jonathan Rauch

I certainly agree that women play an important role in civilizing men. But it's important to remember--as too many people forget--that marriage itself brings a great deal to the table. That's why married couples last so much longer than cohabiting ones (women are present in both kinds of arrangement, of course), and it's why marriage seems to bring more benefits in terms of health, happiness, stability, and so on--even, as I understand the data, after adjusting for confounding variables.

What is it that marriage brings? In two words: social expectations. Society knows what to expect of married couples, and married couples know what society expects of them. Marriage isn't a certificate or a package of benefits or a legal contract between two people. It's a contract between a couple and their community. The partners form a family, with all the obligations that family entails, and in return the community recognizes and honors the marriage. Love is a beginning but not an end. Community takes over where love leaves off.

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