WHY SEX? WHY FIDELITY?: Gabriel Rosenberg

I have said that marriage is not just about sex, but that does not at all mean I believe marriage has nothing to do with sex. Similarly, you have expressed the opinion that marriage is not just about love, but I doubt you think there is no connection between love and marriage.

Marriage is about taking on a commitment to care for one another, in the fullest sense, for the rest of your life (for beter for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health.) This relationship is important because it makes us happier, healthier, more productive, more responsible, and more stable. We want people to turn to their spouse for help before turning elsewhere. Marriage is one of the best safety nets. The only other relationship that comes close to this, is parenthood which also consists of an obligation to care for another. Another time I will write in more detail about the similarities and key differences between these two relationships.

Sex and love both help to create the desire to care for one another, and at the same time are part of the caring itself. As humans we have a natural desire to love and be loved. Although we cannot legislate love or mandate intercourse, we can do our best to help nurture it and prevent obstacles to it. We can require fidelity. We can provide community and government support to the marriage itself in many ways.

The presence of a child makes it even more important for a couple to be married. Not only does the marriage help ensure both parents care for the child, but the care given to each other--financially and emotionally--makes it much easier to care for the child. Children also help to maintain the bonds of marriage. The child is yet another reason to care for the spouse.

Like Jonathan I see marriage as defined by the vow. Love, sex, and babies are all connected to the needs and purposes of marriage, but none forms the essence of marriage or even an essential component without which marriage is impossible.


posted by maggie at 7:22 AM | link

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