"WHAT TO DO WITH GAYS": Gabriel Rosenberg vs. Eve

Of course, I can't speak for Andrew, but I do support many of his views on SSM and have also thought the question of what to do about same-sex relationships was an important one to ask. Please allow me to try my best
to answer your questions.

"If 'social conservatives' did have a big powwow and come up with Guidelines for Same-Sex Canoodling and Commitment... would anyone listen?" Some people wouldn't listen, but many would. More importantly, knowing what the goals are can encourage discussion as to what policies might best achieve those goals.

"Where does the government get off telling me how to run my life? Why should the government structure my sex life?" First of all, I think even with opposite-sex marriage the government is not telling people how to run their lives. Society and the government can inform people of how beneficial marriage is. They can make some of the responsibilities of marriage easier to bear. They can help to enforce the obligations we undertake when we marry. Still, marriage is not forced on anyone. Likewise, if marriage were available to same-sex couples they would be free to choose marriage or reject it. I think if it were available, we should encourage it. I see the third (and first and second) party benefits of marriage and harms of unmarriage to be significant even for same-sex couples.

"What are [people whose closest, most committed chosen relationship is non-sexual] to do? Why is your relationship a civil-rights issue, but ours are merely philia, nothing to get excited over?" This is a great question and I agree with you that we should do more to honor friendship and to help people care for their loved ones.

If we allow same-sex couples to marry, it should not be because those relationships are sexual. It should be because those couples are willing to take on the responsibilities of marriage. If a couple in a non-sexual relationship promised to take on the same responsibilities (including permanence and sexual fidelity), I believe they too should be allowed to marry. Whether a given couple should be encouraged to marry, though, would depend on the nature of the relationship.
posted by maggie at 4:55 PM | link

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