WHY FIDELITY? Michael Triplett Responds

I'm glad my comments have spurred such interesting reactions. I actually don't disagree at all with the basic arguments that in opposite-sex relationships, sexual fidelity plays a complex role in bringing the couple together and focusing the marital energies on child raising. While I believe that a husband's reaction to his wife's infidelity is fueled by jealousy and possessiveness while the wife'' reaction is fueled by betrayal, there is no doubt that fidelity--in its ideal--plays a significant role in opposite-sex relationships. Sadly, heterosexuals (if you are to believe the literature) have failed miserably at reaching this ideal, all without the intrusion of same-sex marriages.

As for same-sex relationships, I find it curious given the "female-centered" tone of much of the debate that no one ever talks about same-sex relationships between women. If we are to believe the literature, women/women relationships are more monogamous than women/men relationships and that monogamy plays a significant role in women/women relationships. If that is the case, then why the rejection of same-sex marriage when there exists a model that appears to have surpassed the heterosexual ideals of monogamy, fidelity, and child-rearing?

Yes, it's easy to focus on male/male relationships because they are allegedly having all that "awful" non-monogamous sex which will destroy the institution of marriage. But what about female/female relationships where monogamy and fidelity are practiced successfully and at higher rates then heterosexuals? Under the "marriage is going to crumble because of all that sex" theory, lesbian relationships would actually strengthen marriage, provide a model for how heterosexuals should behave, and therefore should be endorsed.

Or is it that they, too, will weaken marriage because . . .well . . . they don't have a man and a woman?



posted by maggie at 12:34 AM | link

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