FUN WITH PROCREATION: Eve replies to Gabriel Rosenberg, third part

4, 6, and 7) Over the course of the 20th century, the percentage of fatherless children in this country has changed. It went way up between 1960 and 1990, and recently began a small decline. Why did that happen? I think the belief that fatherlessness is just an "alternative family structure" stymied early efforts to fix this problem; does Gabriel agree?

Gabriel writes as if marrying your baby's mother or father is the obvious choice, the default, and only jerks and losers don't do it. But it's often really hard. It often requires major, unexpected sacrifices from both parents. (You didn't expect your contraception to fail. You didn't think about whether she'd get pregnant. And suddenly you're yoked to this person who was supposed to be just a tryout, just a possibility, not a lifelong part of your family, let alone a spouse.) People need societal support in order to make good decisions.

Again, to mirror Gabriel's questions: Does he think SSM would lead to no change in the number or percentage of children being raised in motherless or fatherless households? Would the change be minuscule, and if so, on what basis does he predict that?

Obviously, everyone is responsible for his own actions. (Although I think Gabriel is working from an overly black-and-white model of "bad man abandons kids," rather than the more common and messier "father often doesn't know how to fit in to mother's family and isn't encouraged to marry her.") But Gabriel's position here is an argument against all cultural honor for marriage and for responsible parenting. He's saying: Don't structure marriage around promoting fatherhood, because fathers who leave kids are responsible for their own actions. How is that different from, Don't structure societal expectation, cultural honor, marriage education, etc. around promoting fatherhood, because fathers who leave kids are responsible for their own actions? Marriage law is part of how society promotes fatherhood.
posted by Eve at 8:25 PM | link

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