EVERYBODY HURTS, SOMETIMES: Eve replies to Barry Deutsch
Wildly, horribly brief reply: I won't speak for
Elizabeth. But I think I'm an
equal opportunity sacrifice-demander. I am a bit surprised, actually, that Barry (in an eloquent post) speaks as if I am asking more of homosexual couples than I would ask of, e.g., women with unwanted pregnancies, or married couples who want to divorce but are not at the "high-conflict" stage, or unmarried people who want to have sex outside of wedlock, or men who father children when they wish they hadn't.
Just about every adult has to sacrifice for the interests of children, although the sacrifices asked of people in different situations are very different. I am not asking people in homosexual relationships to forgo something they want while saying people in heterosexual relationships should get everything they want. My email from people in or seeking heterosexual relationships strongly suggests that
they understand how much is being asked of them.... The response is, of course, not to wallow in sorrow for oneself, but to try as best one can to love one's responsibilities; to find joy in the necessary sacrifices and solace in the rest of life.
I will also say, again overbriefly, that I think Barry is conflating equality and happiness. Marriage is treated differently by law and society because it does more for society. Other relationships, no matter how much they do for the couple, do less for the rest of us, and consequently are treated differently. Possibly more later if people express interest.
posted by Eve at
12:51 AM | link
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