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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

SSM AND PARENTING: Lucia Liljegren replies to Ben Bateman

Ben Bateman has suggested some revisions to my syllogism:

1 Parents who take on the legal responsibility to care and raise children ought to be married.
2 Some gays have taken on the legal responsibility to care for and raise children.
3 Therefore, some gays ought to be married.

He thinks statement 1 restricts marriage to people with children. However, I do not believe my first statement restricts marriage to those who are raising children. It simply states that marriage is advisable for those who take on the legal responsibility to raise children. I see nothing in that sentence to suggest others might be ill-advised to marry.

We should allow and even encourage people who do not have children to marry. I have found great happiness in my childless marriage of almost 20 years. I would not dream of legally banning similar marriages.

I see that you believe the first statement is ambiguous. It was for that reason I clarified my use of the term "ought" which means "it is advisable" when I posted. When something is advisable, it not necessarily "required," it is simply something beneficial, which they ought to do.

You wish to introduce the law into the syllogism. I think complicating the first statement by adding legal principles adds nothing. I'll admit the syllogism highlights a puzzling legal situation: Because the law bars marriage between gays, a class of people who ought to marry are legally barred from doing so.

I would also like to comment on this, which is a separate issue: "Marriage is properly about procreation--the making of babies."

I am have been legally married for 20 years. I have no children due to absolute infertility.

The civil law in no way bars my marriage. It does not consider my marriage "lesser"; my marriage doesn't go by a different name. The divorce laws do not permit my husband to divorce me on the ground of infertility and would not permit him to divorce me if I simply refused to have children. We each obtain every legal benefit available to those who have children.

The idea that civil marriage is only about procreation is a myth.

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