DISESTABLISH MARRIAGE?: Lucia Liljegren

Recently, Eve Tushnet at MD.com asked people to comment on the Abolition of marriage; many people have. Reading the responses, I was struck by something posted by Ryan Janus. It was this: "It doesn't matter to me if people believe I'm married--I know I am."

Evidently, Ryan believes that as long as he, his wife and God know they are married, that's enough.

I have been married for 20 years. It does matter to me whether people believe my husband and I are married.

It mattered whether the bank believed us when we applied for a mortgage. It mattered whether our employers believed us when they paid to move spouses across country. It mattered when my husband requested personal leave to stay with me while I was hospitalized.

What people believed about my marriage would matter if:

* either of us were in an life threatening accident and we wanted the hospital to inform our next of kin.

* the IRS disputed our marital status during an audit.

* we wished to leave our assets tax free to each other when we died.

* either of us decided to violate our marriage vows and run off with someone else.

I could probably make this list nearly endless just including reasons why it matters whether people recognize my legal marriage. Some religions also take the point of view that it matters if people know you are share a sacramental bond. The Catholic Church has long thought it mattered whether other people know you are married; secret marriages are not permitted.

So, what do you think? Does it matter?

link, including some very interesting comments from readers
posted by Eve at 4:15 AM | Link |

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