LOVE AND MARRIAGE: Jose Solano
As many people know, love is probably the most confused and abused word in our entire lexicon. Someone even suggested we not use it at all but rather just use other words to state what we are specifically referring to. Of course, because it often has such "ultimate" connotations everyone wants to hear it said to oneself or wishes to express it to the object of one's desire or attraction. But it may be also something of degrees in which case it simply is an exaggerated form of "like" or "want"; "I love my car." "I love that pie." Etc. Most frequently it is made synonymous with "desire," "lust" and that old term "concupiscence." When people speak of "orientation" these days I understand the latter three terms.
Allow me to express an observation I have made with regards to marriage and the reconciliation of opposites. For humans marriage is the natural cauldron for the blending of opposites. At the one end you have masculinity and at the other femininity. The natural sexual attraction of the opposite sexes brings the two together and through an amazing growing process over the years, usually unperceived by the couple, the powerful masculine driving force of the male is softened as he wishes to please his wife, while the yielding, beckoning allurement of the female becomes aggressive as children and life¹s necessities become priorities. In this way one gradually takes on the characteristics of the other, the man becomes more "feminine" while the woman more "masculine." The oneness that is fulfilled in the initial nuptial bliss begins a transformation process in which the poles are slowly blended together as the two grow into a more permanent and complete union. This does not generally happen without enormous struggle and sacrifice and there are many failures. It¹s a realizable ideal and natural goal but not for those who refuse the struggle and the sacrifice. It can never happen in same-sex relationships simply because they are not true opposites. Both the man and the woman also remain rather infantile and are easily tempted into adultery if they seek to retain permanently or repeatedly recapture the initial nuptial bliss. A greater and deeper harmony and joy is experienced through the transformation.
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