WHAT SSM MEANS FOR MOMS AND DADS: Douglas Tynan replies to Maggie Gallagher

[Replying to this post. --Eve]

One of the major confusions that editorial writers have is confusing a political statement by groups such as the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry or the American Psychological Association with research. There is really a dearth of research on children raised by gay couples and the studies cited by the American Academy of Pediatrics in their statement two years ago supporting second parent adoption (legalization of both gay parents) is research largely published in the Journal of Homosexuality and related journals with largely gay editors. There was one study in Developmental Psychology about two or three years ago done in England looking at lesbian couples and the authors commented on the detached style of the partner of the mothers. In other words, they found some differences worth discussing but their findings were buried under politics. The APA in particular has abandoned its scientific ideals in favor of polities. And in the column cited, while Romney does not talk about religion, the Boston Globe does.

For what its worth, I prefer to keep religion out of this discussion entirely and look at the cold, hard realities of gay marriage:

We know the following about gay marriage/civil unions:

From surveys done in Vermont we know that sexual fidelity is very important to the overwhelming majority of married heterosexuals, but is very important to less than half of gay couples seeking civil unions in Vermont.

Gay couples are by biological definition sterile.

Divorce rates appear higher, and again, in surveys, permanence of marriage is not as valued in gay couples as in straight couples.

So my summary, when I am asked, is that most marriages between heterosexuals are for people in their 20's & 30's and those people have expectations that marriages will produce children, be life long and they value fidelity. Of course these are ideals and some marriages may only achieve 2 or 3 of these ideals.

But if people are to marry without any of these three ideals as goals, I am not sure if most would consider it a marriage.

"Sterile, temporary and non-monogamous does not sound like marriage to most of us, regardless of our religous beliefs."

I think that's the 5 second sound bite that may be useful.
posted by Eve at 8:48 AM | link

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