...As I see it, we won't talk about the crisis in black marriages because of:

• The unfortunate politicization of marriage. Marriage-strengthening efforts have been associated with a conservative political agenda. Also, conversations about marriage in the public square are often diverted to or focused on same-sex marriage. While this is an important issue in its own right, the urgency of the black marriage crisis and the 72 percent of black children who are born out of wedlock demands our unqualified and focused attention. ...

• The concern that efforts to strengthen black marriages devalue single-parent and extended family households. This is due in part to the propensity in the past of some to define as deficient and unacceptable legitimate and functional aspects of African-American family life. This resistance also stems from concerns about stigmatizing large segments of the black community (particularly single parents) and devaluing their adaptive strategies and those of their extended families. However, noting the value of married family homes does not deny the value or the integrity of a variety of family forms.

• The concern that marriage-strengthening efforts give blacks false hope. There is an implicit suggestion by some that to inspire African-Americans (particularly low-income women) to have healthy marriages gives them hope that they can achieve something that is likely to be unattainable. After all, there simply aren't enough African-American men available to marry. Fewer available men does present a major but surmountable challenge and demonstrates the need for black women to consider other options (including marrying outside of the race).

• The personal relationship challenges and failures and associated pain, guilt and anger experienced by many Americans (including public leaders). These experiences cause many leaders to feel incapable of (or less credible in) identifying solutions and reluctant to approach a topic that requires personal reflection and self-honesty to be addressed adequately. In fact, our greatest solutions will be birthed from those who have experienced and overcome significant relationship challenges and failures.

Labels: culture, Linda Malone-Colon, Marriage, men, race

posted by Eve at 5:57 PM EMAIL SHARE PRINT

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