Eve Tushnet on Abelard and Heloise's "Tainted Love"

Yes, I know Eve also posted a link. She just beat me to it:

". . .Heloise is consistent. She is also deeply willful, the least submissive self-proclaimed doormat in human history. Her abnegation is its own form of self-aggrandizement, a serpentine Mobius strip of pride. Even Etienne Gilson, whose sympathy for both lovers comes through on every page of his terrific study Heloise and Abelard, finds himself forced to note, "One hesitates to say this, but the passion for spiritual grandeur which is the secret source of their life story seems never to have been completely pure." Gilson portrays her, believably, as a woman whose thirst for heroism was her tragic flaw. Better to serve Abelard in Hell -- where she can find no reward, and thus face no accusation of self-interest, her heroism shining brightly and alone -- than to serve God in Heaven.


When I first read the Letters, I found it hard to sympathize with the lovers. I was an undergraduate, so I was very hard on Heloise's melodrama -- people enmeshed in melodrama themselves tend to judge other players very harshly. Abelard came across as creepily detached and self-absorbed: She pours out her anguish, he replies with the gas bill and the grocery list.

This time around, I approached them more tenderly. Heloise is shockingly lonely, having followed her love for Abelard -- the one piece of herself she clings to -- into a desolate plain where neither lover nor God can be found. Meanwhile, Abelard fumbles through his responses and attempts to efface himself from their correspondence as completely as possible. He throws himself away with both hands. She never surrenders; he never does anything else. He was prepared to love God by his prior love for Heloise, his superior in so many ways. She had no similar preparation, since idolatry, devotion to what is less than oneself, is the opposite of love of God. . ."

posted by maggie at 3:28 PM | link

"TAINTED LOVE": Eve's Inside Catholic column

Hello all--I just realized that my most recent book column for Inside Catholic might be relevant to readers of this site. It's a look at Heloise and Abelard, in that order:

The name of wife may seem more sacred or more binding, but sweeter for me will always be the word mistress, or, if you will permit me, that of concubine or whore.

more
posted by Eve at 12:17 AM | link

The Real Meaning of Gay Marriage

From the Gay Patriot.
posted by Imapp Staff at 5:11 PM | link

Do Kids Make You Happy Part 2

Arthur C. Brooks in the Weekly Standard:

A new trend among some of the world's most eco-conscious is to forgo children for the sake of the planet. In a recent interview with Britain's Daily Mail, one woman who works for an environmental charity told of aborting her baby because she felt it was "immoral to give birth to a child that . . . would only be a burden to the world." She also had herself permanently sterilized at age 27 for good measure. According to another woman, who works for Ethical Consumer magazine, sterilization was the most ethical decision because " . . . a baby would pollute the planet--and that never having a child was the most environmentally friendly thing I could do."

Whether you view these women as courageous or completely unbalanced, they certainly are self-sacrificing in relinquishing the personal joys of parenthood for the good of the earth, right? Wrong. The truth about children is that they don't make most parents happier, and they don't create a net drain on the world. According to the evidence, forgoing kids is hardly a selfless act.

Read it all here.
posted by Imapp Staff at 5:07 PM | link

Do Kids Make You Happy?

Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert says no:

Marriage, money and children were conventionally considered to be the cornerstone of happiness but such thinking did not stand up to scientific scrutiny, Harvard University psychology professor Daniel Gilbert told the Happiness and its Causes conference in Sydney today.

According to scientific and economic research, only marriage proved to be a constant source of joy...

...despite the belief that children were the apples of our eyes, they actually had a negative impact on happiness.

The more kids you had, the sadder you were likely to be, Prof Gilbert said.

US and European studies had shown that people's happiness did spike while they were expecting a baby but sharply plummeted after the child was born.

From the AAP. Read the rest here.
posted by Imapp Staff at 5:01 PM | link

Islamic Divorce Ruled Not Valid in Maryland

The Washington Post reports:

After his wife of more than two decades filed for divorce in Montgomery County Circuit Court, Irfan Aleem responded in writing in 2003, and not just in court.

Aleem went to the Pakistani Embassy in the District, where he executed a written document that asserted he was divorcing Farah Aleem. He performed "talaq," exercising a provision of Islamic religious and Pakistani secular law that allows husbands to divorce their wives by declaring "I divorce thee" three times. In Muslim countries, men have used talaq to leave their wives for centuries.

But they can't use it in Maryland, the state's highest court decided this week.

The state Court of Appeals issued a unanimous 21-page opinion Tuesday declaring that talaq is contrary to Maryland's constitutional provisions providing equal rights to men and women.

"Talaq lacks any significant 'due process' for the wife, its use, moreover, directly deprives the wife of the 'due process' she is entitled to when she initiates divorce litigation in this state. The lack and deprivation of due process is itself contrary to this state's public policy," the court wrote.

Whole story here.
posted by Imapp Staff at 4:57 PM | link

Surrogate mothers fulfilling gay men's parenthood dreams

From AFP:

An ever-growing number of gay couples are paying tens of thousands of dollars to have surrogate mothers carry their babies, turning America's concept of traditional family on its head.

It took two women and two men for two-year-old twins Katherine and Connor to come to life.

Their fathers, Michael Eidelman and A.J. Vincent, who have lived together for years, invested love, time and all their savings to build their family in New York's Chelsea neighborhood.

The eggs were donated by a woman in Washington state and fertilized in vitro with sperm from both men. The fertilized egg was then inserted in the uterus of a woman from Ohio.

Each man is the biological father of one of the twins, who were born in Los Angeles, where the laws are less stringent for same-sex couples.

More here.
posted by Imapp Staff at 4:45 PM | link

NY High Court Refuses Gay Marriage Case

The Court of Appeals, the highest court in New York State, Tuesday declined to hear a case challenging an appeals court ruling that found the marriages of same-sex couples married in jurisdictions where they are legal must be recognized in New York.

The decision not to accept the case means the lower court ruling will stand.

On February 1 the Appellate Division of state Supreme Court reversed a judge's ruling in 2006 that Monroe Community College did not have to extend health benefits to an employee's lesbian partner.

Patricia Martinez, a word processing supervisor, sued the school in 2005, arguing that it granted benefits to heterosexual married couples but denied them to Martinez and her partner, Lisa Ann Golden.

From 365Gay.com
posted by Imapp Staff at 4:42 PM | link

Head of "Polyamory" Group Discusses Multiple Partners

An interesting interview from the Hartford Courant

Most of what we hear about polygamy has to do with stomach-turning situations like the recently raided West Texas ranch where it is believed that members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — a breakaway Mormon sect — abused children.

But Robyn Trask, executive director of Loving More, a Boulder, Colo.-based group, believes it is unfortunate that the public often doesn't hear about what she believes are the positive aspects to having more than one partner.

While polygamy involves having more than one spouse, Trask's group, which has 1,500 active members, including some in Connecticut, supports polyamory: having multiple loves of either sex with or without marriage.

Full story here.
posted by Imapp Staff at 4:21 PM | link

What are Minnesota lesbians afraid of?

By David Benkof
DavidBenkof@aol.com

I sent the Minnesota gay lobby OutFront Minnesota four reasonable questions about the effects of "marriage equality" on more traditional people, and I was refused because they said ours is an "antigay" blog - which it's not, or I wouldn't be allowed to post here, and there wouldn't be dozens of redefine-marriage posts in our archive. Then I said fine, have my lesbian editor at the Dallas Voice screen the way I use your answers before I post them. Nope. Finally she said she won't answer me and do not contact her again because I'm not "above-board," whatever that means.

It is incredible chutzpah to propose a radical change in society's laws while refusing to answer exactly what that change will entail for people who disagree with you. I think fair-minded people in Minnesota of whatever opinion on marriage should insist that Jo Marsicano tell the truth about what OutFront Minnesota means when it says redefining marriage "would be nothing more than the recognition of reality." Is it nothing more? Is OutFront Minnesota willing to commit to fight any actions that would force those Minnesotans who have what it calls "biased opinions" to espouse the gay community's definition of marriage?

Even if the Minnesota gay lobby is intent on persecuting religious people (which I have no idea if they are), they have a responsibility to speak up now, so Americans of all political affiliations, sexual orientations, and opinions on same-sex marriage will know exactly what they're up to.

You can contact Jo Marsicano at:

Jo Marsicano
Communications Director
OutFront Minnesota
(phone) 612-822-0127 ext. 106
jmarsicano@outfront.org

If she changes her mind and comes clean on what her group is planning, I promise to report back here on the blog.

UPDATE; I just got an E-mail from a MarriageDebate.com reader named Danny. He said when he called Jo Marsicano she said that OutFront Minnesota doesn't answer "right-wing questions." I looked at her Web site and it says OutFront Minnesota is a "non-partisan organization." I wonder what the Minnesota Log Cabin Republicans and other "right-wing" donors, members, and supporters of her group would feel about her refusing to answer an openly LGBT Republican's questions because he's not sufficiently liberal for her. I also wonder how she thinks she's going to get legislation passed in a state with a Republican governor if she opposes right-wing questions.

Labels: Marriage

posted by David Benkof at 3:15 PM | link