GET ME TO THE CLERK ON TIME: Alison Bechdel

More "Dykes to Watch Out For" comics. "Will you do me the honor of paradoxically reinscribing and destabilizing hegemonic discourse with me?"

(follow-up strips are here)

posted by Eve at 11:16 PM | link 0 comments

CALIF. DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP LAW RULED NOT "REVERSE DISCRIMINATION": From The Recorder

California's domestic partnership law has survived a claim that it essentially constitutes reverse discrimination against heterosexual couples.

Los Angeles' 2nd District Court of Appeal on Wednesday threw out a suit by a man claiming that unmarried couples of the opposite sex should have the same right as same-sex couples to file wrongful-death suits. Jack Holguin said the law's exclusion of unmarried heterosexual couples violates his equal protection rights.

Holguin's girlfriend, Tamara Booth, was killed in a car accident. They had lived together for three years, but never married. The Los Angeles County trial judge dismissed the complaint, and the 1st District affirmed, holding that the state Legislature had "rational bases" for not extending partnership benefits to "cohabiting unmarried couples in general."

"The fact domestic partners are legally or practically prevented from marrying, while cohabiting couples of the opposite sex are not," Justice Earl Johnson Jr. wrote, "provides a rational basis for extending the right to sue for wrongful death to the former but not the latter. "In addition," he said, "married couples and domestic partners have publicly registered their legal relationship while cohabiting couples of the opposite sex have not, thereby providing an additional basis for recognizing the economic loss to the survivors of the former but not the latter." ...

The court insinuated that it could be opening up a huge can of worms if it ruled in favor of Holguin. "The number of unmarried cohabiting couples of opposite sex increased 800 percent between 1960 and 1970 and almost tripled between 1970 and 1984," Johnson wrote. "In 2001 a California legislative committee estimated the number of 'unmarried cohabitants' in the state as approximately 600,000. Nationwide, the number is purported to be over 4 million."

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posted by Eve at 10:45 PM | link 0 comments

SSM AND CHEROKEE NATION: Joyce Rock

THE CHEROKEE NATION is in a quandary right now over the issue of same-sex marriage.

Under a compact with the state of Oklahoma, marriages recorded by the Cherokee Nation will be recognized by the state. Cherokee law is very vague on gender issues in its marriage laws. The Cherokee terms used in the marriage ceremony translate as "provider" and "cooker," not "husband" and "wife."

Last May, a lesbian couple used these definitions in applying for and receiving a marriage license from the Cherokee Nation. After their marriage ceremony, the couple asked the Cherokee Nation to file their certificate of marriage with the state.

The Cherokee Nation court refused to accept the marriage certificate, claiming tribal authorities did not know when they granted the license that it was for a same-sex couple.

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posted by Eve at 10:37 PM | link 0 comments

OHIO GROUP CHALLENGES MORE PETITION SIGNATURES: From the Cincinnati Enquirer

Opponents trying to keep a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage off the Ohio ballot want a state appeals court to invalidate all signatures gathered in Hamilton and Cuyahoga counties.

The Cincinnati-based Campaign to Protect Marriage must collect 323,000 valid signatures to put the issue before voters in November. But a coalition of gay rights advocates could block the effort by tying it up in court or getting enough signatures tossed out.

A lawsuit filed this week in the state 10th District Court of Appeals argues that all petitions collected in the Cincinnati and Cleveland areas should be tossed out for a variety of reasons, including the fact that they do not contain a required summary of the amendment.

The amendment effort is already expected to come up at least 17,000 signatures short of the state requirement--a figure supporters think they can overcome by submitting more than 100,000 additional signatures.

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posted by Eve at 10:24 PM | link 0 comments

SSM ADVOCATES WILL ASK MASS. HIGH COURT TO BLOCK OUT-OF-STATE LAW: From the Boston Globe

Advocates of same-sex marriage said yesterday they will ask the Supreme Judicial Court to order Governor Mitt Romney and Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly to stop using a 1913 state law to prevent out-of-state couples from being married in Massachusetts.

Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, the organization that filed the lawsuit resulting in the SJC's historic ruling last year legalizing gay marriage, said the state's highest court must end what it describes as discrimination against same-sex couples.

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posted by Eve at 9:50 PM | link 0 comments

WHEN SOCIETY ASKS CHILDREN WHAT WE SHOULD DO: Elizabeth Marquardt

Still reading "Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is," by Abigail Garner. At the beginning of Chap 1 she quotes a 30 year old man, Jesse Gilbert, who was raised by lesbian moms. He says:

"It's very hard to grow up under a microscope. As kids, we were expected to talk about very adult issues -- sex, civil rights, legal and political issues. What other situations are there where people talk to kids and then legislate from there?"

That strikes me as an excellent question -- What other situations are there where people talk to kids and then legislate from there? Thoughts, anyone?

here

posted by Eve at 9:20 PM | link 0 comments

FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES ELLE WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE: Sara Butler

Despite making my head hurt, I think this raises a really interesting question: if marriage as a social institution came about historically as a way of binding men and women together and ensuring that they take care of whatever children they produce, as marriage has been weakened in our society, particularly through divorce, what kind of arrangements, if any, will spring up to do the binding-together that marriage used to be able to do? I wouldn't count on this baby-having one, as Julie does; that's just asking the very phenomenon marriage was supposed to regulate regulate itself. If a couple can't keep a marriage together for the sake of the children, why on earth does this woman think they'd be able to keep a cohabiting relationship together for the sake of the children? Still, it's just fascinating to see how completely disconnected marriage and commitment appear to be for these women. It makes this article probably the most depressing thing I've read all week.

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posted by Eve at 9:17 PM | link 0 comments

SSM AND MASS. ELECTIONS: An emailer to Andrew Sullivan's site

Yesterday was primary day in Massachusetts and it was a good day for marriage equality. Every incumbent who voted for equality and who faced an opponent won. In addition, two anti-equality incumbents lost to equality challengers. Neither will face an opponent in November. And a pro-equality candidate won an open seat being vacated by an anti-equality representative.In a related couple of stories, today's polls in the Boston Globe show that gay marriage is not high on the voters' priority list here and that Gov. Romney's popularity continues a slow but steady decline. Maybe because of this, Romney has been saying that gay marriage will not be a Republican theme in this year's November elections here. He has decided that Republicans have a wide range of opinions on the topic and it is best left to each individual to decide. Sounds to me like he's discovered that anti-marriage equality is a loosing proposition here.

Sullivan comments here.

posted by Eve at 9:14 PM | link 0 comments

SSM AND MASSACHUSETTS SCHOOLS: National Public Radio excerpts

MELISSA BLOCK, host: Sex education has long been a controversial subject. In Massachusetts this school year, there's a new element to the debate. Now that the state Supreme Court has legalized same-sex marriage, some advocates say teachers have an obligation to talk more in class about gay and lesbian relationships. ...

SAM ZEGAS (High School Senior): ...There were times when I got very depressed about it. I couldn't picture my life further down the road because I didn't know. I didn't what that looked like; I couldn't even imagine it. And that's what changed, that's what changed on May 17th. This is a message from the government of Massachusetts saying, 'This is now part of the social norm.'

SMITH: Zegas is one of many hoping that the day gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts will also mark the beginning of a new openness in schools. Already, some gay and lesbian advocates are working on a new gay-friendly curriculum for kindergarten and up. ...

But many teachers say they're less afraid now since the high court decision legalizing gay marriage. Deb Allen teaches eighth-grade sex ed in Brookline. She keeps a picture of her lesbian partner and their kids on her desk and gay equality signs on the wall. Allen says she's already been teaching a gay-friendly curriculum for nearly a decade, but she says she does begin this year feeling a bit more emboldened.

Ms. DEB ALLEN (Eighth-Grade Teacher): In my mind, I know that, 'OK, this is legal now.' If somebody wants to challenge me, I'll say, 'Give me a break. It's legal now.'

SMITH: And, Allen says, teaching about homosexuality is also more important now. She says the debate around gay marriage is prompting kids to ask a lot more questions, like what is gay sex, which Allen answers thoroughly and explicitly with a chart.

Ms. ALLEN: And on the side, I'm going to draw some different activities, like kissing and hugging, and different kinds of intercourse. All right?

SMITH: Allen asks her students to fill in the chart with yeses and nos.

Ms. ALLEN: All right. So can a woman and a woman kiss and hug? Yes. Can a woman and a woman have vaginal intercourse, and they will all say no. And I'll say, `Hold it. Of course, they can. They can use a sex toy. They could use'--and we talk--and we discuss that. So the answer there is yes.

SMITH: In Massachusetts, local districts have broad discretion when it comes to sex ed, and schools range from this one in Brookline to many others that teach abstinence only or offer no sex ed at all. But teachers say gay and lesbian issues come up all day; not just in sex ed, but everywhere from gym class to social studies or biology. And many teachers say they don't want to go there. ...

SMITH: Barbara, an elementary teacher northwest of Boston, did not want to use her real name. She says she feels growing pressure from her school to be, as she puts it, 'politically correct.' But she says she'd quit if she ever had to assign books like "Heather Has Two Mommies," or to answer questions about what gay means."

listen to the whole program here

posted by Eve at 9:05 PM | link 0 comments

INDIANA JUDGE SEEKING CUSTODY LAWS IN SAME-SEX CASES: From the Indianapolis Star

A judge in a custody dispute between parents who are each the boy's mother is urging legislators to help jurists in his position.

"Unfortunately, the Indiana General Assembly has not yet created a vehicle for a court to address child custody disputes when a same-sex relationship terminates," Hamilton Superior Court Judge Bernard "Buddy" Pylitt said in a recent order setting a final hearing in the case for Jan. 31.

"The General Assembly is encouraged to address this vacuum at its earliest convenience."

The unusual case involves two former lesbian partners. One, Jill Wihebrink, bore the couple a child in 2000 through artificial insemination. The other, Nancy Lafferty, adopted the infant.

While typical adoption statutes do not allow a mother to retain parental rights, judges across the country have begun to permit such equal-parent and same-sex adoptions.

In general, they reason, adoption laws based on the best interests of a child should allow for societal changes that recognize same-sex partnerships and any parental benefits they bring.

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posted by Eve at 9:02 PM | link 0 comments

CANADIAN SAME-SEX DIVORCE RULES STILL HAZY: From the Toronto Star

Now that an Ontario couple has been given Canada's first same-sex divorce, experts are divided over just how easy it will be for gays and lesbians in other provinces to end their marriages.

The women, known only as M.M. and J.H., were divorced on Monday by a Superior Court judge, who declared the definition of spouse in the federal Divorce Act unconstitutional. The law had defined spouse as a man or woman married to each other and prevented same-sex couples from divorcing. ...

But while Madam Justice Ruth Mesbur's ruling broke new ground, courts in other provinces are not bound by her decision, and same-sex couples outside Ontario might have to go through the same "legal hoops" as M.M. and J.H., Cossman said.

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posted by Eve at 8:59 PM | link 0 comments

MICH. ATTY GENERAL: SAME-SEX COUPLES MARRIED IN MASS. CAN'T ADOPT IN MICHIGAN: From the Associated Press

An attorney general's legal opinion that same-sex couples married in Massachusetts cannot adopt a child together in Michigan has angered gay-rights advocates and others who said Wednesday it disregards children's best interests.

The opinion, written by Attorney General Mike Cox, said a same-sex marriage performed in another state is invalid in Michigan and therefore precludes that couple from obtaining a joint adoption here.

"It's an anti-family opinion," said Beverly Davidson, president of the Coalition for Adoption Rights Equality, which supports same-sex adoptions. "There are a number of children in our state who need permanent homes. Limiting who can adopt them is a disservice." ...

...Cox wrote in his opinion that, while same-sex couples cannot adopt a child in the state, one partner may do so as a single person. ...

Washtenaw County judges once allowed gay and lesbian couples to jointly adopt children. But two years ago, Chief Judge Archie Brown banned those adoptions in the courts under his control. Brown said at the time that such adoptions violated state law, which he said allows only individuals and married couples to adopt children.

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posted by Eve at 8:52 PM | link 0 comments

ARK. ACLU VS MARRIAGE AMENDMENT: From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

What voters will see on the ballot when they decide on a proposed Arkansas constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage is "purposefully vague, misleading and nonsensical," the state Supreme Court was told Wednesday.

The Arkansas chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union told the court that the measure's popular name falls short of the court's requirement that ballot names be "intelligible, honest and impartial."

The ACLU has asked the Supreme Court to have "An Amendment Concerning Marriage" removed from the state's Nov. 2 ballot. ...

The committee's argument described the proposed amendment as "written in perfectly intelligible English" that is sufficiently clear.

The ACLU is merely opposed to the amendment's "policy" and "are determined for it not to be voted on by the people," the committee's argument said. ...

The ACLU said it filed the suit to "insure that Arkansans are given a fair and accurate ballot title, one that is free of misleading tendencies and partisan coloring."

The Supreme Court is not the proper place to debate the "wisdom or folly" of the amendment, Sklar said. "What's relevant to the court is the soundness of our legal argument," Sklar said. "And our legal argument is that the language is unclear."

The ACLU argued that the amendment's language barring "legal status for unmarried persons which is identical or substantially similar to marital status" is vague. The term "marital status" does not always refer to being married, Sklar said, and is often used to define whether or not an individual is single.

"We have a team of lawyers, and we don't know what it means," Sklar said.Chris Stewart, executive director of the Arkansas Marriage Amendment Committee, said the term "marital status" implied marriage and that he thought the language was clear. ...

The attorney general's brief argued that because the entire amendment is included in the ballot title, "there is no credible argument" that voters will lack the necessary information "as to what they are asked to vote upon." ...

That ballot title, which is identical to the actual language of the amendment, reads: "A proposed amendment to the Arkansas Constitution providing that marriage consists only of the union of one man and one woman; that legal status for unmarried persons which is identical or substantially similar to marital status shall not be valid or recognized in Arkansas, except that the legislature may recognize a common law marriage from another state between a man and a woman; and that the legislature has the power to determine the capacity of persons to marry, subject to this amendment, and the legal rights, obligations, privileges and immunities of marriage."

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posted by Eve at 8:18 PM | link 0 comments

GA GROUPS VS MARRIAGE AMENDMENT: From the Macon Telegraph

Several advocacy groups are working to convince Georgia voters that a proposed state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage goes too far and would strip basic rights from gays and lesbians, including hospital-visitation rights and Social Security benefits.

The proposed ban, which was hotly debated during this year's legislative session, will be listed on the Nov. 2 ballots for the general election. ...

Opponents of the ban are drawing up tentative plans for a lawsuit that would challenge the wording of the ballot question, which they say is vague and misleading.

The law has two parts, but no mention is made in the referendum question of the second part of the law, Darby said. The first part of the law would only recognize marriage between a man and a woman. The second part would remove numerous rights for same-sex couples, opponents argue.

Darby and other legal consultants working on behalf of gay and lesbian groups worry the law would remove their rights to make medical decisions on behalf of their partners, adopt children and include partners in their wills.

"If this passes, the courts will not have to uphold any contractual arrangements between members of the same sex," Darby said.

Cook disagrees, saying the power of attorney can be used for people of the same sex to make medical decisions or other legal decisions for each other.

"There are already laws in place to take care of those issues," Cook said.

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posted by Eve at 8:11 PM | link 0 comments

POLL: MICHIGAN TOO CLOSE TO CALL: From CNN

The race between Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry and President Bush is too close to call in the battleground state of Michigan, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released Tuesday evening. ...

The poll also found that the outcome of a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban gay and lesbian marriage is too close to be determined.

Among likely voters, 51 percent said they would vote against such a ban, while just 45 percent said they would support it. Among registered voters, 51 percent were opposed and 44 percent said they would support it, the poll found.

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posted by Eve at 8:05 PM | link 0 comments

MANITOBA LEGALIZES SSM: From CTV.ca

Manitoba has become the fifth jurisdiction in Canada to legalize same-sex marriage.

Court of Queen's Bench Justice Douglas Yard ruled Thursday morning that the current definition of marriage in provincial law is unconstitutional.

"The traditional definition of marriage in Manitoba is reformulated to mean a voluntary union for life of two persons at the exclusion of all others," Justice Yard said in his decision. ...

Lawyers for the federal government, which has jurisdiction over the definition of marriage, did not oppose the motion. It's the first time that federal lawyers did not try to fight or adjourn a court battle over same-sex marriage. ...

The Supreme Court of Canada will begin holding hearings on the federal government's draft legislation to legalize same-sex marriage across the country.

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posted by Eve at 7:59 PM | link 0 comments

GALLUP POLL

New Gallup poll released this morning shows 63% of teens (ages 13-17) disapprove of SSM ("Do you approve or disapprove of marriages between homosexuals?"), including 70% of boys and 57% of girls. Just 36% approve of SSM (30% of boys; 43% of girls).

Additional results at: http://www.gallup.com/poll/content/?ci=13015

Joshua Baker notes: "This question phrasing is different from that usually asked of adults -- focuses on approval of 'marriages between homosexuals' rather than support for legal recognition of SSM (or laws 'banning SSM'). Seems that might affect the views of high school students in various ways.

posted by Eve at 3:38 PM | link 0 comments

MASS. SCHOOLS WEIGH GAY TOPICS: From National Public Radio, "All Things Considered"

[I have no idea what was said, as I don't have speakers hooked up to this computer. If I can find a free transcript I'll post excerpts. --Eve]

As school begins in Massachusetts, teachers and parents are debating what to teach about homosexuality now that gay marriage is legal. Some say teachers must talk more openly about gay relationships, while others say they'd rather quit than assign books such as Heather Has Two Mommies. NPR's Tovia Smith reports.

here

posted by Eve at 3:36 PM | link 0 comments

CALIF. INSURERS MUST COVER DOMESTIC PARTNERS: From 365Gay.com

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger Monday signed the first of three major gay rights bills passed by the legislature last month.

Schwarzenegger put his pen to the California Insurance Equality Act. The legislation amends the Insurance and the Health & Safety Codes to prohibit insurance providers from issuing policies or plans that discriminate against domestic partners. ...

The Insurance Equality Act was sponsored by Assemblywoman Christine Kehoe (D-San Diego) and brings state insurance laws in line with the the domestic partnership law, which takes effect next year. ...

The partnership law, which gives most of the rights and benefits of marriage which are permitted under state law, was upheld by a Sacramento judge last month. Yesterday, the conservative group which challenged the law said it would begin a recall effort against the judge.

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posted by Eve at 3:33 PM | link 0 comments

NEW QUESTION: WHAT SHOULDN'T YOU DO OUT OF WEDLOCK?

A great part of the cultural debate about marriage is a debate about which actions and hopes--if any--should be reserved for marriage alone. Both supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage have invoked a marriage ideal; does that ideal require a corresponding condemnation of, for example, sex outside of marriage? Romantic love outside of marriage? Childrearing outside of marriage?

Any supporter of an ideal must know that not everyone will live up to that ideal. So this question isn't as simple as, "If you think people shouldn't have children out of wedlock, you must think every unmarried mother should have her children taken away!" I think there's space for a more nuanced discussion of whether we, as a society, should say that some behaviors and some needs are only rightly fulfilled within marriage--even if we understand that this ideal will never be 100% realized.

So: If you were counseling high-schoolers, what (if anything) would you tell them to avoid until marriage? What about if you were counseling an adult friend? What, if anything, is inappropriate for the unmarried?

Click below to join the debate!

posted by Eve at 6:00 PM | link 0 comments

BIAS AGAINST SSM HURTS SPOUSES AND CHILDREN: Deb Price

Wearily flying back from Amsterdam via Canada this June, Connecticut dads Jeffrey Busch and Stephen Davis got a quick lesson on why marriage matters.

A couple for 14 years, they were traveling with their 22-month-old son, Elijah, conceived with the help of a surrogate mother. Until Davis' legal parenthood becomes final through what's called second-parent adoption, Busch is listed as Elijah's sole parent on the toddler’s passport.

"Who are you?," a Canadian immigration official asked Davis brusquely.
After the couple explained that Davis is Elijah's second dad, the official responded: "How do I know this isn't a kidnapping?" ...

Janet Peck and Carol Conklin, a couple of 28 years in the lawsuit, were subjected to indignities when Peck had surgery. Despite a slew of legal papers, Conklin was barred from intensive care because she was not considered "immediate family." ...

Meanwhile, a decision by Judge William Downing, who handed down the first of Washington state's breakthrough rulings, ought to be required reading for fair-minded Americans. His Aug. 4 decision warns that moves to create second-rate alternatives to marriage are what could weaken the institution.

Calling the gay couples asking to marry "model citizens," the judge declared, "There is not one among them that any of us should not be proud to call a friend or neighbor or to sit with at small desks on back-to-school night. There is no worthwhile institution that they would dishonor, much less destroy."

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posted by Eve at 5:57 PM | link 0 comments

"POLYAMORISTS" GO BEYOND MONOGAMY: From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

...With the fight over gay marriage and civil unions at full tilt in Wisconsin and across the country, the 60 polyamorists who gathered this weekend at an Easter Seals campsite near Wisconsin Dells discussed how to strengthen their relationships while establishing a place in mainstream America.

"They're out doing the heavy lifting for us," Wise, an New Jersey attorney and father of two teenage children, said of the gay rights movement. "They're bringing us the equal protection that we're entitled to."

From eight states, they brought their husbands, wives, partners and other significant others--OSOs in polyamory parlance--to the third Midwest Alternative Polyamory Conference. It was equal parts mass relationship counseling, pep rally and singalong.

While a handful of small children played on swing sets and did arts and crafts, the adults listened to speakers who addressed the audiences as if it was a political campaign and the opposing candidate was monogamy. ...

The polyamorists described traditional -- they call them "dyadic"--relationships as steeped in pain and jealousy. By contrast, they say, polyamory is about honesty and trust. Unlike the swingers community, polyamorists aren't in it for the sex, they say, they're in it for the love.

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posted by Eve at 5:54 PM | link 0 comments

POPE DENOUNCES VARIATIONS OF "MARRIAGE": From the Associated Press

Pope John Paul II told New Zealand bishops Monday that efforts to equate marriage between man and woman to other forms of cohabitation violated "God's plan for humanity.''

New Zealand's parliament has been debating proposed legislation that would grant "civil union'' status to couples -- both same-sex and heterosexual -- who live together, giving them many of the same rights as married couples.

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posted by Eve at 5:52 PM | link 0 comments

TWO WOMEN, A MAN, AND THEIR BABY: From the Montreal Gazette

There's no doubt the Montreal man fathered the girl who celebrated her first birthday in July--but should he get to be her daddy?

That's the emotionally and legally loaded question Quebec Superior Court will grapple with this week.

The toddler was born after the man donated sperm to an old flame who was starting a family with her lesbian partner.

A hearing starts today to decide whether the man should get to have his name inscribed on the girl's birth certificate and be the proud papa in her life.

He claims he always expected to be more than a genetic donor.

The mothers say they alone were supposed to be the child's parents--and are both listed as such on her birth certificate.

The outcome of the case could have profound consequences for an untold number of modern-day couples who have relied on sperm and egg donors or surrogate mothers to have children.

The case will also be a first test of new laws enacted in Quebec in 2002 that grant same-sex couples full parental rights. ...

The mothers were shocked and tried unsuccessfully to have the visits cancelled in appeals court, arguing sperm donors traditionally have no rights or obligations under the law.

To them, the man has no more claim to their daughter than any other family friend.

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posted by Eve at 5:47 PM | link 0 comments

VT ACTIVISTS SAY CIVIL UNIONS FALL SHORT: From the Boston Globe

Gay marriage activists say they are not satisfied with the civil union law, which they described at a Vermont Law School conference last week as second-class matrimony.

At the daylong meeting Thursday, titled ''Got Marriage?," lawyers, activists, legislators, and legal scholars said the state's 2000 civil unions law doesn't go far enough.

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posted by Eve at 5:41 PM | link 0 comments

LOVE AND MARRIAGE: Alysse ElHage replies to Michael Triplett

[Alysse ElHage is a freelance writer and researcher living in Winterville, NC.]

I agree with Mr. Triplett that most people on the street would describe marriage in terms of love, not commitment or obligation or even having children. But that is exactly the problem with marriage today. Basing marriage on passion, not obligation, results in broken families. Feelings go up and they come back down, especially in the day-to-day struggles that come with marriage. Couples who are truly committed to each other stay in the marriage for the long, often bumpy ride where feelings of love and sexual passion come and go. The marriages that last are the ones in which the couples use some of that "old fashioned" obligation and commitment to something more than just each other as a reason to keep going when their spouse gets on their nerves.

Mr. Triplett's view of marriage may be popular but it is not very romantic or realistic. Obligation has to play a role in a good marriage because sooner or later, feelings fade. I am not saying that love should not play a role in marriage, or that we should all go out and marry someone we don't love. I am simply arguing that marriages based primarily on feelings and sexual passion don't last. Love is something that you do, not something that you always feel. As a married woman, I can tell you that I am more secure knowing that my husband's commitment to our marriage goes beyond his feelings for me on a particular day.

There is nothing wrong with wanting more from our marriages than duty alone. But an obligation to something bigger than ourselves (i.e., God) and a shared commitment to work at loving each other, even when we no longer feel "in love," are part of what it takes to make a marriage last.

posted by Eve at 3:54 PM | link 0 comments

VOTE WON'T END LA. GAY MARRIAGE DEBATE: From the New Orleans Times-Picayune

Voters across the state will decide Saturday whether to add a ban on same-
sex marriage to the Louisiana Constitution, but almost no one believes that the emotional debate will end there.

If the amendment passes, as most observers expect, opponents say it will certainly face legal challenges on several fronts, including its impact on contracts, private-sector employee benefit programs, inheritance, taxes, real estate issues, bankruptcies and other parts of state law, including issues involving unmarried opposite-sex couples. ...

Part of the controversy involves a section of the amendment that would prohibit state officials from granting legal rights and benefits of marriage, such as inheritance rights and tax breaks, to unmarried couples. It says that any other relationship that is "identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized."

Randy Evans, a New Orleans lawyer and political director of the Forum for Equality Political Action Committee, one of the gay-rights groups that lost pre-election lawsuits to keep the measure off the ballot, said the amendment's passage would nullify New Orleans' domestic partner registry through which city employees can obtain health insurance and retirement benefits for same-sex or opposite-sex partners.

"It could call into question private contract rights between couples, gay and straight, who are not married," Evans said. He said passage also could undo private agreements of unmarried couples such as documents outlining who could and could not see a sick partner during a hospital stay.

Evans said a will made between a couple could be turned on its head if the amendment passes. For example, if a partner dies and leaves the survivor property or money, and a blood relative files suit to claim part or all of the inheritance, the lawyer for the relative could point to the constitutional provision to nullify the couple's agreement, he said. ...

LSU Law School professor Michael McAuley said the measure "turns the clock back (on marriage relationships) and instructs a judge not to interpret the law based on a contemporary version of marriage. It implies there is something bad about nonmarriage. . . . It says it is a sin to live with someone (and not be married), that it is morally reprehensible."

James Viator, a professor of state and federal constitutional law at Loyola University School of Law, said the proposal is "cagily written" so if lawmakers "in the year 2525 pass legislation" authorizing civil unions or domestic partnerships, they will be unenforceable and void -- unless the Constitution is changed.

Viator said he doesn't think private contract rights would be affected by the amendment. "A contract is between two or more people, and it is nobody else's business," he said.

But McAuley said the proposal could affect private contracts between an individual and a business if the state has some regulatory control over the businesses or the businesses gets a tax break from the state. He said state benefits to an unmarried couple would be forbidden by the proposal.

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posted by Eve at 3:47 PM | link 0 comments

CANADIAN SSM TO BE TESTED IN ISRAEL: From the Toronto Star

Getting married in Toronto was effortless for one of Israel's leading gay activist couples -- the hard work will begin when they return home and ask for legal recognition of their union.

But battling for gay rights, and winning, is a familiar experience for Tel Aviv university professors Uzi Even and Amit Kama, who were married at Toronto City Hall yesterday. Even, who was Israel's first openly gay lawmaker, successfully fought a ban on gays and lesbians in the Israeli army and security services and won pension benefits for Kama from the university. They also adopted a gay teenager. ...

There are no civil marriages in Israel, said Kama, 44, a professor of media and communications. All marriages are dictated by Jewish law.

Though they've been a couple for 18 years, they had never discussed marriage because it appeared to be impossible.

"I see this as another step toward normalizing and raising acceptance," Even said a few hours before the ceremony.

The greatest benefit of his activism, he said, was winning the right to adopt a 16-year-old boy, now 26, whose parents disapproved of his sexual orientation.

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posted by Eve at 3:43 PM | link 0 comments