VT GAY MARRIAGE SUPPORTERS SAY CIVIL UNIONS FALL SHORT: From the Burlington Free Press

..."Civil marriage for gays and lesbians is a civil rights issue," said Michael Saint Joseph of Enosburg Falls, who has been with his partner for 32 years and entered into a civil union in 2001.

"Until we can marry, our family will be less secure. We will face greater obstacles," said Ellen Hill of Johnson. She noted that if she dies before her "wife" of 10 years, "she will not get my Social Security." The surviving spouse in a marriage would receive survivor benefits.

Jeff Towsley of South Burlington, who has been in a relationship for 23 years, said that after he and his partner obtained their civil union in 2000, he notified his employer -- the federal government. "I got a letter back that said congratulations on your civil union but it means nothing."

Robert Ranahan of Derby offered more examples of the shortcomings of civil unions. He noted that he had to include the value of the health coverage for his partner as income for federal tax purposes, but a married couple wouldn't. And even though the pair jointly own their property, "if one of us dies, the property will be subject to inheritance tax." ...

"I believe Vermont is ready to take the final step of equality," said Sandi Cote-Whitacre of Georgia.

more
posted by Eve at 5:03 PM | link  

16,000 GAY COUPLES WED IN FIRST YEAR OF UK CIVIL PARTNERSHIPS: From the Evening Standard

...Today's report also reveals that 10 per cent of the men and almost a quarter of the women involved in a gay wedding were previously married.

The average age for males registering a same-sex partnership was 47 and for females nearly 44. ...

About 60 per cent of the ceremonies across Britain involved men, but in London the proportion was 70 per cent.

more
posted by Eve at 5:01 PM | link  

One Divorce Every 30 Seconds in the EU

Link to Institute for Family Policies Study: http://www.ipfe.org/Report_Evolution_Famiy_europe_2007_EU27.pdf

From "A Portrait of Europe's Aging Population," Business Week, October 9, 2007:

…From 1980 to 2005 the number of marriages in Europe decreased by 22.3 percent, while divorces increased by 55 percent in the same period.

Spain presents the most radical case-study, as the number of divorces there has increased by 183 percent in the last 25 years.

Currently, a couple divorces every 30 seconds in Europe and over 13.5 million marriages affecting more than 21 million children ended between 1990 and 2005 in the enlarged EU…

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:01 AM | link  

WHEN PARENTS WANT TO KEEP "EX-LAWS" AS FRIENDS

from CNN
posted by Eve at 9:23 PM | link  

I'M IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD

from the Onion
posted by Eve at 9:21 PM | link  

Massachussetts Billboard: Puppolo Responds

Billboard, here. Legislator's response here.
posted by maggie at 12:26 PM | link  

LGBT Groups Oppose Maryland Civil Unions Bill

Because, it's not really about the benefits, but getting government (and therefore culture) to adopt a new moral principle: orientation is just like race. 365gay.com reports:

"Support For Civil Unions Grows Among Maryland Dems


(Annapolis, Maryland) Top state Democrats say they are warming to the idea of civil unions for same-sex couples in Maryland but the idea is being met with opposition from both LGBT rights groups and Republicans. [MG note: Plus the Democrat Senate President]. . .

But any attempt to introduce a civil union bill in the legislation is likely to be met with opposition.

Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller (D) has said he would fight such a bill and Republicans in both houses are touting a potential constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage and civil unions.

LGBT civil rights group Equality Maryland also opposes civil unions, saying they would establish a separate-but-equal system for same-sex couples.

"Civil unions are specifically designed to withhold marriage from same-sex couples, so the question is, if the state says it's the same thing as marriage, why don't they call it marriage? And if it's not the same thing, what rights are being withheld from same-sex couples that are afforded to others?" said EM's Dan Furmansky."

posted by maggie at 10:00 AM | link  

'Dear Abby' Supports Gay Marriage

From "'Dear Abby' Says She's for Gay Marriage," AP, October 9, 2007:

…Dear Abby is ready to say it flatly: She supports same-sex marriage.

''I believe if two people want to commit to each other, God bless 'em,'' the syndicated advice columnist told The Associated Press. ''That is the highest form of commitment, for heaven's sake.''…

Jeanne Phillips [aka Abigail Van Buren]…formally took over the column when [the original Abby, her 89-year-old mother, Pauline], was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease five years ago…

Alert ''Dear Abby'' readers may have noticed that the youthful attitude Phillips promised to bring to the column includes a decidedly gay-friendly take on most matters…

Phillips realizes not everyone agrees with her on gay rights; she and her husband ''argue about this continually,'' she said. He thinks civil unions and domestic partnerships ''would be less threatening to people who feel marriage is just a religious rite.'' She thinks anything less than full marriage amounts to second-class citizenship…

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:31 AM | link  

A GLIMPSE OF HOPE FOR MOMS IN JAIL: From Christianity Today

here
posted by Eve at 3:22 PM | link  

How Gay Marriage Really Will Change Hetero Marriage

From "How Gay Marriage Really Will Change Hetero Marriage" by Greta Christina, Greta Christina's Blog, AlterNet, October 9, 2007:

…I think same-sex marriage does, and will, have an effect on opposite-sex marriage…

In order for our society to accept or even tolerate same-sex marriage, a lot of fairly basic, deep-rooted ideas have to change. The way we define family. The way we think of what it means to be a man, and what it means to be a woman. The importance of sex and sexual fulfillment. What we consider natural and normal. Etc., etc., etc.

All of these things shape our practice of marriage, our understanding of what it is and what it's for. And in order for us to accept or even tolerate same-sex marriage, all of them will need to change.

Thus changing the shape of marriage.

All marriage…

What I don't understand is why that's a bad thing…

Our definition of family should be broadened. The way we think of maleness and femaleness should be more flexible. Sex should be acknowledged as a central part of human life, and as a basic human right. What we consider to be natural should be more in keeping with the actual reality of nature. And we should be questioning, not only what is and isn't normal, but whether normality is even a quality we should be prizing.

Not just so we can get to a place where we can accept same-sex marriage ... but so we can help make opposite-sex marriage, and all relationships, and life in general for everybody, happier and more fulfilling.

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:39 AM | link  

WHAT IS OUR MISTRESS DEMANDING?

from the Onion
posted by Eve at 1:21 AM | link  

Gadgets

"For nerds who want wives," here.
posted by maggie at 4:21 PM | link  

UK Criminal Justice Bill Will Be Amended to Cover "Homophobic" Behavior

From "Seven years jail for gay hate preachers," Telegraph (UK), October 9, 2007:

People convicted of stirring up hatred against homosexuals face up to seven years in jail under a new law.

Jack Straw, the Justice Secretary, told MPs that existing prohibitions against race and religious incitement would be extended to cover ''homo-phobic" behaviour.

His statement prompted fears among Christian organisations that they could be prosecuted for preaching that homosexuality was wrong…

Mike Judge, of The Christian Institute, said there would need to be proper protections to ensure people were free to express their religious beliefs.

He said: "We are still very concerned that this law may lead to Christians being censured by the state for their views on sexual ethics."

posted by Imapp Staff at 2:36 PM | link  

TV Ad Asks, "What if you couldn't marry the person you love?"

Link to Let California Ring TV Ad: http://www.letcaliforniaring.org/site/c.ltJTJ6MQIuE/b.3389647/k.C563/Videos.htm

From "TV ad campaign attempts to sway the undecided on same-sex marriage," San Francisco Chronicle, October 9, 2007:

A lovely brunette bride breaks a heel on her way to the altar. A tree branch snags off her veil. Then a grandma type sticks her cane out and trips the distressed bride as the groom watches in dismay.

"What if you couldn't marry the person you love?" reads the tagline to a 60-second TV spot that begins airing in the Bay Area, Los Angeles and other major California markets on Thursday. "Every day, gay and lesbian couples are prevented from marrying. Support the freedom to marry."

That's the message of a new multimillion-dollar educational campaign called Let California Ring, created by the gay rights advocacy organization Equality California Institute in association with dozens of other gay and civil rights groups. Cooked up by the Seattle office of the advertising giant DDB Worldwide, the ad is a key element in the effort to convince undecided Californians that couples of all sexual orientations should have the right to affirm their love and commitment in a legally sanctioned marriage.

The Ring campaign, which includes a string of "house parties" around the state to help "spark a million conversations" about the freedom to wed, is the latest volley in the divisive national fight over gay marriage…

posted by Imapp Staff at 12:27 PM | link  

New Study: Bad Relationships Damage the Heart

We knew that, but now scientists have proof.
posted by maggie at 11:20 AM | link  

D. Brooks on Why 20-Somethings Don't Marry Anymore

From "The Odyssey Years," NYT, October 9, 2007:

During [the decade of wandering that frequently occurs between adolescence and adulthood], 20-somethings go to school and take breaks from school. They live with friends and they live at home. They fall in and out of love. They try one career and then try another…

[P]eople in this age bracket are delaying marriage. They’re delaying having children...

[T]his period of improvisation is a sensible response to modern conditions.

Two of the country’s best social scientists have been trying to understand this new life phase. William Galston of the Brookings Institution has recently completed a research project for the Hewlett Foundation. Robert Wuthnow of Princeton has just published a tremendously valuable book, “After the Baby Boomers” that looks at young adulthood through the prism of religious practice…

Young people grow up in tightly structured childhoods, Wuthnow observes, but then graduate into a world characterized by uncertainty, diversity, searching and tinkering. Old success recipes don’t apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself.

Dating gives way to Facebook and hooking up. Marriage gives way to cohabitation…

There’s been a shift in the balance of power between the genders. Thirty-six percent of female workers in their 20s now have a college degree, compared with 23 percent of male workers. Male wages have stagnated over the past decades, while female wages have risen.

This has fundamentally scrambled the courtship rituals and decreased the pressure to get married. Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they’re working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate…

[W]hat we’re seeing is the creation of a new life phase, just as adolescence came into being a century ago. It’s a phase in which some social institutions flourish — knitting circles, Teach for America — while others — churches, political parties — have trouble establishing ties…

European nations are traveling this route ahead of us, Galston notes. Europeans delay marriage even longer than we do…

And as the new generational structure solidifies, social and economic entrepreneurs will create new rites and institutions…

posted by Imapp Staff at 8:40 AM | link  

National Organization for Marriage Billboard Causing a Stir

To see NOM billboard go to: http://www.nationformarriage.org/

From "Billboard attacks gay marriage vote," The Republican (masslive.com), October 06, 2007:

BOSTON - A New Jersey group yesterday unveiled a massive billboard in Springfield that compares a local legislator to Judas Iscariot and Benedict Arnold for switching his vote on gay marriage.

Called "Betrayed," the billboard, posted on Interstate 91 near the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, targets state Rep. Angelo J. Puppolo Jr., a freshman Democrat from Springfield.

Puppolo changed his position on gay marriage and voted "no" to placing a question on next year's statewide ballot that sought to amend the state constitution to ban same-sex unions, legal in Massachusetts since May 2004. During the campaign last year, Puppolo said he would support the ballot question…

Puppolo said the billboard is hateful and offensive…

Brian S. Brown, director of the newly created National Organization for Marriage, of Princeton, N.J., which financed the billboard, said yesterday Puppolo betrayed marriage and the public trust…

"If Angelo Puppolo is whining about this being hateful, that's over the top," Brown said. "Come on. He's a big boy. He's a legislator."…

posted by Imapp Staff at 4:34 PM | link  

"THE THREE DOCTORS" BOND WITH FATHERS: USA Today

They're three friends from Newark's inner city who demolished the stereotypes, overcame the odds and became doctors and authors.

They called themselves "The Three Doctors." Their third book, The Bond: Three Young Men Learn to Forgive and Reconnect With Their Fathers (Riverhead, $24.95), arrives Thursday. ...

Hunt, Sampson Davis and George Jenkins, all 34, grew up in broken homes. As they tell it, their mothers and grandmothers did all the heavy lifting of being parents. Their fathers were mostly absent.

That part of the story is all too familiar. The rest is not: The three friends pledged in their senior year of high school that they would all go to college, then on to medical school.

They did, and they wrote about it in their 2002 best seller, The Pact: Three Young Men Make a Promise and Fulfill a Dream. A children's version, We Beat the Street: How a Friendship Pact Led to Success, followed in 2005.

Hunt, an internist at the University Medical Center in Princeton, N.J., came up with the idea for the new book. At first, he thought it would be about just him and his father.

But as he talked to Davis and Jenkins, "we realized that each of us had a similar but different story to tell. We had all grown up in a world where it seemed normal for men to abandon their children."

Davis, an emergency-room doctor at Newark's St. Michael's Medical Center and two other hospitals, has a Christmas memory of the year when he was 6 when his father pulled a gun on his mother.

"Mine wasn't the kind of house where you could learn a lot about conflict resolution," he says.

Jenkins, a dentist in Harlem and a professor at Columbia University College of Dental Medicine, grew up with little contact with his father, who lived in South Carolina.

"I'm not sure I even knew his phone number," he says.

In their predominantly poor and black Newark neighborhood, Hunt says, "Father's Day was kind of like Rosh Hashana," the Jewish New Year. "It seemed like a celebration for other people, a day that belonged to another culture." ...

None of the three doctors is married or a father. All are dating, a subject they kid each other about. And all say that growing up with absentee fathers has made relationships with women harder.

"I never got a chance to see how to treat a lady every day, how to compromise, how to make a relationship work while raising a family," Jenkins says.

more
posted by Eve at 1:48 PM | link  

Sweden Moves Closer to Gay Marriage

(Memo to Eskeridge!):

Sweden Moves Closer To Gay Marriage
365Gay.com Newscenter Staff
Posted: October 5, 2007 - 1:00 pm ET

"(Stockholm) Legalized same-sex marriage moved closer in Sweden on Friday when the country's three opposition parties introduced a marriage equalization bill.

Sweden already has civil partnerships under a law enacted in 1995 that gives most of the rights and obligations of marriage to same-sex couples who register.

On Friday, the Social Democrats, the Greens and the Left Party said the time had come to join the Netherlands, Belgium and Spain in Europe to allow full marriage. . ."

posted by maggie at 12:07 PM | link  

Rebuild the American Family

From "Rebuild the American family, starting with mom and dad" by Mort Zuckerman, NY DAILY NEWS, October 7, 2007:

…[T]he new American family is a household with fewer children, with both parents working, and with mothers giving birth to their children at an ever older age, having fewer children, and spacing them further apart.

This is not good news. Twice as many married people indicate they are very happy as compared with those who aren't married. But it is the children who are most affected. The stable family of two biological parents - surprise, surprise! - turns out to be the ideal vessel for molding character, for nurturing, for inculcating values, and for planning for a child's future. Marriage, or the lack of it, is the best single predictor of poverty, greater even than race or unemployment.

The result is a serious new divide in our society between the children of poorer, less educated, single parents and those of richer, better educated, and married parents…

posted by Imapp Staff at 10:48 AM | link  

How To Get Gay Married In Florida, Right Now

From "Keep Your Matrimony, I've Got Mantrimony," ORLANDO WEEKLY, October 4, 2007:

I’m getting married to a man. Not married in the traditional sense; that’s illegal in Florida. But in practical terms, and in the eyes of the law, my union will be almost exactly the same as that between a man and a woman…

In Florida there are a few important steps to take when setting up a gay marriage, the most important of which is to draft a legal, binding last will and testament…

Next up is the living will, a document that allows you to make decisions about your health care in the event you are incapacitated…

Then there’s the health care power of attorney, an important document that names the person who will make your health-care decisions should you be incapacitated or not trusted to decide for yourself…

A pre-need declaration of guardian designates who will be responsible for your financial decisions in the event of a legal declaration of incompetence…

That takes care of dying. But what happens in a breakup, the gay equivalent of a divorce? Depending on the value of the couple’s assets, they can either form a trust (for greater value and expansive portfolios) or a partnership agreement, which is a pre-nup that spells it all out in case of separation…

And there you have it. Congratulations. You are now gay married.

“In Florida, executing these documents is as much as you can do to simulate some of the rights and responsibilities of marriage,” says Tom Dyer, a local attorney and publisher of the gay newspaper Watermark...

He charges $585 for the “gay marriage” package, plus $150 an hour to create a partnership or trust. A partnership typically takes one to three hours, while a trust can take five to seven, meaning the total ranges from $735 to $1,635…

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:08 AM | link