Are Gay /Relationships Different?

A gay man says "yes" in Jan. 17, Time.com essay.
posted by maggie at 9:37 PM | link

Some links from the Child of Divorce/Child of God blog

for the like one reader of this site who isn't making it a regular stop!

Snoop Dogg on why he didn't divorce:

"I was going to split up with my wife--my wife wasn't going to split up with me," he said.

"You know, I was caught up with Hollywood, and the girls and the night life. I thought I was the man and I was willing to give up what I had at home for that, until I realized that what I had at home was irreplaceable, so I gave that up to go back home.

"I just don't want another man raising my kids. That was the main goal. I had kids with my wife because I wanted to be with my wife. And those three babies are all wanted, and I wanted to be with them."

(more)

Divorce across borders:

The holidays are synonymous with travel for many people. For me, a child of divorce, add international relations to the Christmas-New Year’s maelstrom. When my parents split in the 1970s, my father moved to Montreal with Susan, the woman who would become his wife and my stepmother. Since I was 6, I’ve gone across the border and back at least 100 times.

I know how it must feel to be a global peace negotiator: needing to be in two places at once, my allegiances split.

(more)
posted by Eve at 9:33 PM | link

Report: Half of Married Brits are Unhappy

UPDATE: The news story doesn't say but it sounds like an internet survey, not a nationally representative sample. In the U.S., using nationally representative data, around 4 percent of married people say they are unhappily married. Maggie

From "Report: Half of married Brits are unhappy," UPI, January 18, 2007:

LONDON, Jan. 18 (UPI) -- More than half of 2,000 people in a British survey admitted to staying in unhappy marriages to avoid money and emotional troubles.

The survey indicated 59 percent of wives would leave their husbands if financial stability was not a problem, while 51 percent of husbands said their marriages were loveless, The Daily Mail reported Thursday.

Seddons, a leading law firm in London, created the marriage survey after a flood of divorce requests came in early in January...

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:38 AM | link

Why Gay Marriage Can't Work

This article about a custody dispute between a gay man and a lesbian couple illustrates the unavoidable differences between same sex couples and opposite sex couples. The basic facts of the case are that a gay man agreed to be a sperm donor for a lesbian couple. When the child was born, the birth mother's civil union partner tried to do a second party adoption and adopt the child. The father of the child balked: He did not want to relinquish all his parental rights.

The father had signed a standard document provided by the IVF facility:

In order to have the in vitro procedure performed at a Connecticut reproductive services facility, the parties had to execute a consent form provided by the facility. In that form, the donor agrees to "give up all rights and claims" to the child conceived from his donation. Neither Browne (the father) nor D’Alleva (the mother) had anything to do with drafting this form, and neither of them sought legal advice as part of the procedure.

However, the birth mother added his name to the birth certificate:

The forms were signed when the sperm was donated in June 2003, but the child was not born until May 2005. Browne was present at the birth, the parties signed the Acknowledgment of Paternity form, and Browne was listed as father on the birth certificate.

The verbal agreement between the man and the couple was described as:

As a part of their agreement," wrote Judge Riley, "Ms. D’Alleva alleges that she and Ms. Bochain would adopt the child and Mr. Browne and Mr. Piecha ‘would have some type of role as co-guardians,’ that Mr. Browne and Mr. Piecha ‘would have a role as secondary or "fun parents" and that the defendant [D’Alleva] and Ms. Bochain would be the primary parents."

Here is the problem: when a man and a woman marry, any children born to the woman are legally presumed to be the children of her husband. There can be no such presumption of paternity for a same sex couple. At least half of the genetic material must come from outside the couple. Therefore, the individuals need to take specific legal steps to detach the parental rights from the donor and attach parental rights to the birth mother's partner. This case is instructive because those steps were missing and now the adults have to sort out the parental rights, after the child's birth.
Read the full commentary at my blog.
posted by Jennifer Roback Morse at 1:27 PM | link

More on the French fertility Crown

Notes on the article posted here yesterday regarding the (relatively) high French fertility rate. Notice that child-bearing has been separated from marriage, and the state has taken over responsibility for child support.
One thing not mentioned is the relative fertility rates of European French and the African Muslim population of France. I once speculated on this difference in print. I was quickly slapped down by people who pointed out that the French don't keep statistics separated by race or national ancestry. In the US, for instance, we know that the fertility of Blacks and Hispanics is higher than non-Hispanic whites. We also know that college-educated white women have fertility rates around 1.7, well below the national average of 2.1.

It would be interesting to know the ethic composition of French fertility, but I guess it isn't knowable.
Also in the article is this fact:

The average age of first-time mothers, rising year on year, stood at 29.8 years.

In this, the French are acting like college educated residents of Massachusetts, which had the highest age at first marriage and first child-birth, the last time I looked.
Cross posted at JRM blog.
posted by Jennifer Roback Morse at 12:52 PM | link

New Poll: Majority in MD Favors Legalized Same-Sex Unions

From "Majority favors legalized unions," Baltimore Sun, January 17, 2008:

As the General Assembly gears up for a debate on the rights of gay couples, a solid majority of Maryland voters supports some form of legalized same-sex unions, according to a [Baltimore Sun statewide poll of 904 voters, conducted by telephone Jan. 6-9].

Nineteen percent of likely voters said they support gay marriage, and 39 percent said they back civil unions, meaning that nearly three out of five believe the state should formally recognize same-sex relationships. Maryland law bans same-sex marriage.

Thirty-one percent of those polled said they disagree with granting either form of same-sex unions, but only half of those opponents said a constitutional amendment is needed to ban them. Eleven percent said they were not sure or declined to answer the question...

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:36 AM | link

Who's Head of Huckabee's Household?

From "Did Pastor Huck Flub Marriage Question?" ABC News, January 16, 2008:

...At a debate sponsored by Fox News last week, [Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee], who has made his faith a central component to his campaign, was asked about his public endorsement of a controversial 1998 statement on family and marriage by the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), the organizing body of Southern Baptists.

The statement, which ran along with signatures from Huckabee [an ordained Southern Baptist minister], his wife and more than 100 other prominent figures, said that while "husband and wife are of equal worth before God," the wife "is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband."

"Women voters in both parties harshly criticize that," Fox's Carl Cameron said to Huckabee. "Is that position politically viable in the general election of 2008, sir?"

"The point," Huckabee responded, "is that as wives submit themselves to the husbands, the husbands also submit themselves, and it's not a matter of one being somehow superior over the other."

Not exactly, according to a man who may be the Southern Baptist's leading authority on the statement. Richard Land, president of the SBC's Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, helped draft the statement. According to Land, the statement says that while the husband and wife are equal before God, "the wife does not get veto power over the husband's decision."

"Somebody has to be in charge," Land explained. "The Bible says the husband is in charge."...

posted by Imapp Staff at 4:16 PM | link

Albert Mohler: Does Marriage Matter?

From "Does Marriage Matter?," AlbertMohler.com (blog), January 15, 2008:

...In her article "Yes to Love, No to Marriage" [in the "My Turn" column of the January 14, 2008 issue of Newsweek] Bonnie Eslinger writes of choosing love but insists that she has absolutely no need of marriage...

...Consider this section:

I don't need a white dress to feel pretty, and I have no desire to pretend I'm virginal. I don't need to have Jeff propose to me as if he's chosen me. I don't need a ring as a daily reminder to myself or others that I am loved. And I don't need Jeff to say publicly that he loves me, because he says it privately, not just in words but in daily actions.

Few paragraphs offer such eloquent testimony to the absolute victory of personal autonomy as an ideal. The first-person pronoun appears no less than eleven times in that short paragraph...

[But] marriage is not primarily about what we as individuals think we want or need. It is about a central public commitment that the society needs, that couples need, that children need, and yes, that the spouses need. Marriage is a public institution, not merely a private commitment...

posted by Imapp Staff at 11:35 AM | link

Iowa Republicans Press for Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment

From "Iowa Republicans Press For Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment," 365Gay.com, January 15, 2008:

(Des Moines, Iowa) Republicans are demanding that Democrats who control the legislature take up a proposed amendment that would ban same-sex marriage...

Iowa already has a law limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples but supporters of the amendment say it could be overturned by "renegade" judges.

At least 48 representatives have signed onto a resolution calling for a constitutional amendment to prevent same-sex marriage...

To amend the Iowa Constitution simple majorities are needed in both the House and Senate in two consecutive general assemblies and then it must be approved by a simple majority of voters in the following general election...

posted by Imapp Staff at 11:22 AM | link

New Study: Women's Bisexual Identity Stable, Sexuality more Fluid

From the press release:

"Newswise — Bisexuality in women appears to be a distinctive sexual orientation and not an experimental or transitional stage that some women adopt “on their way” to lesbianism, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.

The study of 79 non-heterosexual women over 10 years found that bisexual women maintained a stable pattern of attraction to both sexes. In addition, the research appears to have debunked the stereotype that bisexual women are uninterested in or unable to commit to long-term monogamous relationships.

“This research provides the first empirical examination of competing assumptions about the nature of bisexuality, both as a sexual identity label and as a pattern of nonexclusive sexual attraction and behavior,” wrote University of Utah psychologist Lisa M. Diamond, PhD, who conducted the study. “The findings demonstrate considerable fluidity in bisexual, unlabeled and lesbian women’s attractions, behaviors and identities and contribute to researchers’ understanding of the complexity of sexual-minority development over the life span.” . . .

Diamond used interview data collected five times over a decade from 79 women who identified as lesbian, bisexual or unlabeled. The subjects initially ranged in age from 18 to 25 years old.

Among Diamond’s findings:
* Bisexual and unlabeled women were more likely than lesbians to change their identity over the course of the study, but they tended to switch between bisexual and unlabeled rather than to settle on lesbian or heterosexual as their identities.

* Seventeen percent of respondents switched from a bisexual or unlabeled identity to heterosexual during the study – but more than half of these women switched back to bisexual or unlabeled by the end.

* By year 10, most of the women were involved in long-term (i.e., more than a year in length) monogamous relationships – 70 percent of the self-identified lesbians, 89 percent of the bisexuals, 85 percent of the unlabeled women and 67 percent of those who were then calling themselves heterosexual.

* Women’s definitions of lesbianism appeared to permit more flexibility in behavior than their definitions of heterosexuality. For example, of the women who identified as lesbian in the last round of interviews, 15 percent reported having sexual contact with a man during the prior two years. In contrast, none of the women who settled on a heterosexual label at that point reported having sexual contact with a woman within the previous two years.

“This provides further support for the notion that female sexuality is relatively fluid and that the distinction between lesbian and bisexual women is not a rigid one,” Diamond wrote.

Article: “Female Bisexuality From Adolescence to Adulthood: Results From a 10-Year Longitudinal Study,” Lisa M. Diamond, PhD, University of Utah, Developmental Psychology, Vol. 44, No. 1.

Full text of the article is available from the APA Public Affairs Office or at http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/dev4415.pdf

posted by maggie at 9:47 AM | link

Against the Trend, U.S. Births Way Up

From "Against the Trend, U.S. Births Way Up," AP, January 16, 2008:

ATLANTA (AP) - Bucking the trend in many other wealthy industrialized nations, the United States seems to be experiencing a baby boomlet, reporting the largest number of children born in 45 years. [Demographers often use the word boomlet for a small and brief baby boom.]

The nearly 4.3 million births in 2006 were mostly due to a bigger population, especially a growing number of Hispanics...But non-Hispanic white women and other racial and ethnic groups were having more babies, too.

An examination of global data also shows that the United States has a higher fertility rate than every country in continental Europe, as well as Australia, Canada and Japan...

The U.S. fertility rate—the number of children a woman is expected to have in her lifetime—reached 2.1. That's the "magic number" required for a population to replace itself...

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:24 AM | link

Pope Speaks Again on Marriage and Family

From "Pope Says the ‘Future of Society’ is ‘Clearly at Stake’ from Attacks Against the Family Based on Marriage," LifeSiteNews, January 10, 2008:

VATICAN CITY, January 10, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) - For the second time this year Pope Benedict XVI has focused on an "educational emergency" in passing on true Christian values regarding marriage and family to new generations...

"It is clear that respect and support for the family based on marriage have primary importance", Pope Benedict [said to Italian civil dignitaries at this morning's traditional exchange of New Year greetings]. "Unfortunately, we daily see how unrelenting and threatening are the attacks and misunderstandings suffered by this fundamental human and social institution. It is, then, more necessary than ever that public administrations do not support such negative tendencies but, on the contrary, give the family their convinced and concrete support, in the certainty that in this way they are working for the common good".

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:07 AM | link

French Claim Europe Fertility Crown—But Shun Marriage

From "French claim Europe fertility crown -- but shun marriage," AFP, January 15, 2008:

France overtook Ireland as the fertility champion of Europe in 2007 but a majority of babies are now being born out of wedlock, according to new census figures released on Tuesday [by the French national statistics institute INSEE].

With 1.98 children per woman, France's fertility rate is now ahead of Ireland on 1.90, according to the latest government figures, and well above the European Union average of 1.52 [although it still falls just short of the 2.07 children per woman needed for generations to be replaced].

Babies born to unmarried couples represented 50.5 of all French births in 2007, compared to 48.4 percent the previous year and merely 5.9 percent in 1965...

Pro-birth public policies, including universal public schooling from the age of three, and the relative affordability of childcare for infants are credited in part with the increase in fertility...

posted by Imapp Staff at 8:12 AM | link

ACLU: Right to Have Sex in Public Bathrooms

As long as you close the stall door. Their brief cites no less an authority than the Minnesota Supreme court, AP story here:

". . .The ACLU argued that even if Craig was inviting the officer to have sex, that wouldn't be illegal.

"The government cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Sen. Craig was inviting the undercover officer to engage in anything other than sexual intimacy that would not have called attention to itself in a closed stall in the public restroom," the ACLU wrote in its brief."

posted by maggie at 12:00 AM | link

The Economics of Marriage, from The Logic of Life

What explains everything from the increasing number of single mothers to the decreasing proportion of men in college? The pill. Oh, and prisons. An excerpt from a new book The Logic of Life, over at Slate.
posted by maggie at 10:57 PM | link

Breaking News: Florida Marriage Amendment Falling Short

Cut an paste from a news release from Florida4Marriage:

"Contribute: We need to raise $50,000 before January 17th to mail the 40,000 petitions waiting at the mail house ready go out to new voters. Donate now online:www.florida4marriage.org/contribute.html


News Clips:

Miami Herald: Same Sex Marriage Ban May Not Make Ballot: www.miamiherald.com/458/story/379560.html

Florida Today: Ballot Initiatives Short on Signatures www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080114/BREAKINGNEWS/80114087/1086

Associated Press: Gay Marriage Ban Short of Signatures: www.heraldtribune.com/article/20080114/APN/801140769 "
posted by maggie at 4:26 PM | link

Spanish Socialists to Campaign on Their Success Legalizing SSM

From "Spanish PM Hails Gay Marriage As One Of Its Key Triumphs As Re-Election Campaign Begins, AP, January 14, 2008:

(Madrid) The Spanish government called general elections for March 9, formally launching Monday what is shaping up as a close race between the ruling Socialists and opposition conservatives...

Zapatero is seeking a second term after being elected in March 2004 elections that ousted a conservative government...

In its favor, Zapatero's camp points to what it calls a strong economy, trailblazing social reforms such as gay marriage and changes that gave more self-rule to semiautonomous regions like Catalonia...

posted by Imapp Staff at 2:15 PM | link

The Link Between Matrimony and Celibacy

From "Marriage and Celibacy: Love's Link," ZENIT, January 14, 2008:

MADRID, Spain, JAN. 14, 2008 (Zenit.org).- Father José Pedro Manglano says history has shown that when marriages are in crisis, the vocation to celibacy also has problems.

The priest speaks of the link between matrimony and celibacy in his new book, "El Amor y Otras Idioteces: Guía Práctica Para No Perder a Quien Tú Quieres" (Love and Other Foolishness: A Practical Guide to Avoid Losing Your Beloved).

In this interview with ZENIT, Father Manglano explains what true love is, and how it can become eternal...

posted by Imapp Staff at 2:09 PM | link

Gay Couples Closer than Straight Couples

From "Gay couples an example to straight couples," UPI, January 14, 2008:

In a series of studies...lesbian couples were found to be emotionally closer than gay male couples who, in turn, were found to be emotionally closer than heterosexual married couples

[The studies found that] homosexual couples had flexibility about gender roles and an equal division of parenting and household tasks...

Heterosexual couples could learn from gays couples about sharing housework and childcare, using softer communication in conflict and having more nurturing behaviors toward one another and their children, [researchers said].

posted by Imapp Staff at 2:03 PM | link

Catholic Hospital Sued after Refusing to Operate on Transsexual

From "Catholic Hospital Sued after Refusing to Operate on Transsexual," Family News in Focus, January 11, 2008:

A Catholic hospital in San Francisco is being sued after refusing, on religious grounds, to perform breast-enhancement surgery on a man

Brad Dacus, president of the Pacific Justice Institute, has offered to represent the hospital.

“If this hospital is required to deny its religious beliefs in order to function as a hospital," he said, "then the protection of religious entities — even churches — could be on the chopping block tomorrow."

posted by Imapp Staff at 1:54 PM | link

College Grads More Likely to Postpone Having Children

From "Bringing Up Babies, And Defying the Norm," Washington Post, January 15, 2008:

...The majority of college graduates in their 20s in metropolitan regions postpone having kids until at least their 30s or never have any, according to recent demographic research...

...[I]n metro areas nationwide, including cities and suburbs, 13 percent of men and 31 percent of women ages 25 to 29 with four-year college degrees have had children...By contrast, 49 percent of men and 62 percent of women in that age group with less education have had children...

...[The data] show that "there is [an] increasing divergence of highly educated women and less-educated women."...

posted by Imapp Staff at 1:48 PM | link

AR Court Rules Embryo is not an Heir

From "Court: Embryo implanted in mother's womb after father's death not an heir," Arkansas News Bureau, January 11, 2008:

LITTLE ROCK - A child conceived through in vitro fertilization but implanted in his mother's womb after his father's death is not automatically considered his father's heir under Arkansas' inheritance laws, the state Supreme Court said Thursday in an advisory opinion...

The Supreme Court noted that the state statute governing intestacy, or the distribution of property after a person dies without a will, was enacted in 1969, before the technology of in vitro fertilization was developed, and therefore does not address the issue...

posted by Imapp Staff at 1:33 PM | link

The Catholic Church and the Marriage Debate: iMAPP in ZENIT

From "Families Feuds, Continued" by Father John Flynn, LC, ZENIT, January 14, 2008:

...The Church's opposition to changes in family laws in a number of countries has led some to accuse bishops of undue meddling in politics. Nevertheless, ample evidence exists that the legislative initiatives in past years have notably weakened marriage and family life, thus moving the Church to become involved in the debate.

A study published last July by an American nonprofit organization, the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, traced the relationship between the introduction of no-fault divorce and the rate of marriage breakup.

The paper, "Does Divorce Law Affect the Divorce Rate?: A Review of Empirical Research, 1995-2006," authored by Douglas W. Allen and Maggie Gallagher, said that 17 of 24 recent studies find that the introduction of no-fault divorce laws increased the divorce rate. The most common estimate is that no-fault divorce increased divorce rates by around 10%.

The paper is quick to point out that divorces are caused by many factors, so the legal changes are far from being the only cause of a higher number of divorces. At the same time, they argue, "The idea that family law has no independent effect on family behaviors is difficult to reconcile with either economic theory or existing empirical research."

Allen and Gallagher explain that now the law is no longer a positive force in enforcing marriage contracts, so some couples react by delaying marriage and sometimes even avoiding it altogether. Others are led into more hasty decisions in getting married, secure in the knowledge that if the marriage fails it is easy to break up...

posted by Imapp Staff at 1:30 PM | link

New Study: Aggression is Fun (for Males)

Research on (male) mice confirms what anyone familiar with the movie-viewing habits of American men knows: aggression is fun for men. (I knew something different must be happening in their brains):

"New research from Vanderbilt University shows for the first time that the brain processes aggression as a reward - much like sex, food and drugs - offering insights into our propensity to fight and our fascination with violent sports like boxing and football.

The research will be published online the week of Jan. 14 by the journal Psychopharmacology.

. . .For the experiments, a pair of mice - one male, one female - was kept in one cage and five 'intruder' mice were kept in a separate cage. The female mouse was temporarily removed, and an intruder mouse was introduced in its place, triggering an aggressive response by the 'home' male mouse. Aggressive behavior included tail rattle, an aggressive sideways stance, boxing and biting.

The home mouse was then trained to poke a target with its nose to get the intruder to return, at which point it again behaved aggressively toward it. The home mouse consistently poked the trigger, which was presented once a day, indicating it experienced the aggressive encounter with the intruder as a reward.

The same home mice were then treated with a drug that suppressed their dopamine receptors. After this treatment, they decreased the frequency with which they instigated the intruder’s entry.

In a separate experiment, the mice were treated with the dopamine receptor suppressors again and their movements in an open cage were observed. They showed no significant changes in overall movement compared to times when they had not received the drugs. This was done to demonstrate that their decreased aggression in the previous experiment was not caused by overall lethargy in response to the drug, a problem that had confounded previous experiments.

The Vanderbilt experiments are the first to demonstrate a link between behavior and the activity of dopamine receptors in response to an aggressive event.

"We learned from these experiments that an individual will intentionally seek out an aggressive encounter solely because they experience a rewarding sensation from it," Kennedy said. "This shows for the first time that aggression, on its own, is motivating, and that the well-known positive reinforcer dopamine plays a critical role."

posted by maggie at 9:43 AM | link

Rick Santorum: "Anyone But McCain"

I heard him on Mark Levin here in New York. The next night Judge Robert Bork was on the same show, calling McCain that ultimate GOP diss "a liberal." KLo summarizes:

A Conservative Case against McCain
A former Senate colleague cautions the Right.

By Kathryn Jean Lopez


Rick Santorum doesn’t know who he’s voting for in the Pennsylvania primary on April 22, but he knows who he’s not voting for. The former Pennsylvania senator will not pull the lever for his former colleague, John McCain. . .
,
In an interview with Mark Levin on Levin’s radio show Thursday night, Santorum went so far as to call McCain “very, very dangerous for Republicans” on domestic policy. Santorum said: “I just have to tell you, as a leader, as someone who had to put these coalitions together, it was always hard and we very rarely on domestic policy had any help from the Senator from Arizona.”

Santorum told Levin: “The bottom line is that I served 12 years with him, 6 years in the United States Senate as leader, one of the leaders of the Senate — the number-3 leader — who had the responsibility of trying to put together the conservative agenda, and almost at every turn on domestic policy, John McCain was not only against us, but leading the charge on the other side.” . . .

Although McCain has a largely pro-life voting record, Santorum — who led on pro-life and marriage issues in the Senate — cautioned against misunderstanding McCain’s public stance: “Not only was he wrong on embryonic-stem-cell research, but on a whole host of conservative issues, where he may have voted with us.” Santorum took radio listeners into the back-room workings of the Senate, emphasizing how the first step toward legislative success is finding time on the floor to discuss and vote on the issues: “That discussion is held in private, where you’re jostling and jockeying to get your legislation into the queue so that you can have your time on the floor to get something done. And I can tell you, when social-conservative issues were ever raised — whether it was marriage or abortion or a whole host of other issues — there were always the moderates who said ‘no, no, no, we can’t: they’re divisive, divisive, divisive.’ And more often than not, John McCain was . . . with them,” agreeing that these were divisive issues that the Senate should not bring to a vote.

“That’s wrong,” Santorum added, “and that gives me an insight into what he would really be like [on these issues] if he were president of the United States.” . . .

In the Levin interview, Santorum warned that with a President McCain, “I’m concerned we’d have a president whose first reaction would be to go to the other side to solve a problem instead of trying to find like-minded Republicans to come up with solutions. There is nothing worse than having a Democratic Congress and a Republican president who acts like a Democrat in matters that are very important to conservatives.”

posted by maggie at 12:35 PM | link

Big Weddings Bring Afghans Joy, and Debt

From "Big Weddings Bring Afghans Joy, and Debt," NY Times, January 14, 2008:

...In Afghanistan, one of the poorest countries in the world, bridegrooms are expected to pay not only for their weddings, but also all the related expenses, including several huge prewedding parties...

All that, plus the dowry, known as the bride price, can run a middle-class Afghan man on average $20,000, dozens of Afghans said in interviews...

Extravagant weddings, a mainstay of modern Afghan life and an important measure of social status, were banned by the Taliban...

But since the Taliban were ousted in 2001, the Afghan wedding industry has rebounded and is now bigger than ever...

Afghan bridegrooms say tradition and societal pressure leave them with no alternative but expensive weddings in spite of their poverty. Marriage is arguably the most important rite of passage for a young Afghan man, and the luxuriousness of the ceremony reaffirms his family’s status...

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:37 AM | link

Divorce Distances Teens from Fathers

From "Divorce May Widen Distance Between Teens, Fathers," ScienceDaily, January 11, 2008:

ScienceDaily (Jan. 11, 2008) — The typical distancing from parents by adolescents is exacerbated by divorce for fathers, but not for mothers, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family...

Parental divorce creates an immense pressure to decrease father-child closeness, supplemented by the many barriers created by a father's physical separation from the children. Fathers, who often are the less involved parent before divorce, would have to increase their investment in the relationship just to maintain pre-divorce levels of closeness, which the vast majority of fathers do not do, according to the study...

Prior to divorce, 71 percent of youth reported being very close to their mothers, while 57 percent reported being very close to their fathers.

The teens' withdrawal from fathers [during a five-year period] was much more severe among those youths with divorced parents (56 percent) than among those with non-divorced parents (28 percent), the study says.

The proportion of youths who reported a consistently close relationship with their father was much higher among those with still-married parents (48 percent) than among those with divorced parents (25 percent).

There was no significant difference in the change in closeness to mothers reported by youths in either group...

posted by Imapp Staff at 9:16 AM | link